The Toxic Couch: Part Three (06-08-10)

My project was not going well. After letting everything fester under the carport for weeks, I convinced Gary to rent a Rug Doctor, so I could try my hands at a last ditch effort to rescue my couch and recliner.
I decided to treat the stinky mattress first. It was a nice, thick mattress; it looked comfortable and clearly had never been used before (by a human). Unfortunately, it had been in contact with the rusted springs inside the sofa and had been contaminated with the same sour smell as everything else. I laid it down on an old shower curtain on the lawn, and scrubbed the heck out of it. I then left it to dry on the green lush lawn, hoping that the fresh spring air would do wonders for it. There was nothing else to do for it but wait... Next, I scrubbed the sofa and the recliner. The leather responded beautifully, springing back into shape, a testimony to quality materials. But the dark places which had been stained and damaged, once wet, had the same sticky gummy feel as the cushion covers; the leather was rotten.

All those efforts were for nothing in the end; the repulsive smell oozed and wafted from the couch, mattress and recliner, no matter what.

The last episode in this saga: I reluctantly took everything to the dump. As I was driving away from the huge bays, I turned around and got a last glance of the couch without its cushions, with a mountain of trash all around, as a bulldozer was advancing in its direction.

RIP beautiful couch.

I drove the car to the exit window, paid the dump fee and briefly told my woes to the lady at the window. She laughed and said "I always tell people; you gotta give it the sniff test before you buy it!"